I'm An Atheist

I don't believe there is a God.

There, I said it.  It took me nearly 38 years to admit that to myself, and almost another full year before I could say it publicly.  But it's true.

I choose my wording carefully.  I don't care for the more common, "I don't believe in God."  That makes it sound like God is simply an underachieving teen who has shown little aptitude for self-improvement.  The fact that I don't believe there is a God should not be confused with a rejection of the possibility that God exists.  Since one cannot disprove a negative, it would be foolish to state with absolute certainty that God could not, and does not, exist.  I simply find it so unlikely as to make it a non-issue in my life.

The same can really be said of any fantastical, mythological creature.  I cannot disprove the existence of unicorns, minotaurs, nymphs or mermaids, but I have no need to factor them into the daily equation of my life.

How did I come to this?  Well, it was simple really.  I asked myself some questions.

1) Do I believe there is a grandfatherly figure of absolute power in the universe engaged in and guiding my daily life? No.

2) Do I think there is a sentient, universal consciousness that watches over all of us?  No.

3) Do I find any reason to believe that any one religious text or tradition has found the TRUTH, and that it is inescapably right, and by virtue of that proves all other spiritual traditions wrong?  No.

4) Am I scared of negative consequences for not believing in God? No.

5) Am I willing to compromise what reason and thoughtful inquiry tell me, in order to believe a TRUTH that has to be told, but cannot be proven, or in many cases supported? No.

6) Do I believe that a creator who gave me the capacity for reason, would then ask me to ignore that ability in all questions dealing with It.  100%, unequivocally, no.

7) Do I believe that the world needs religion for moral guidance, to be charitable, to be kind, etc?  No, in fact I think the evidence speaks pretty clearly to the opposite.

So you may notice that really what this journey came down to for me is that reason tells me the existence of God is unlikely, and I do not believe that something as powerful as a universal truth would rely on us denying our ability to think critically.

Now some of the common arguments for God and religion are worth looking at because I looked at them hard when arriving at this realization.

1) If there is no God then why do so many people believe in Him?

It seems to me to be a matter of survival instincts.  The idea that there is a plan, that someone all powerful is looking out for us in our darkest moments is a powerful message.  It could easily keep a person going when they would otherwise give up.  This is a potent evolutionary advantage.  But we also know it's untrue that what many people believe is a good argument for truth.  The world used to be flat, the moon used to be made of cheese, leeches used to be good medicine.  Truth is not dictated by the number of people who believe in an idea, or to quote Tim Minchin, "I don't believe that just because ideas are tenacious, it means that they are worthy."

2) There's no harm in believing in God, but the consequences if you're wrong are catastrophic?

Fear is a powerful, and deeply unfair motivator.  How could I possibly believe that a loving God, who wants nothing but the best for us all, would bludgeon us into submission with such an inelegant threat?

3) How do you explain miracles?

Couple of things here.  First, eyewitness accounts are notoriously unreliable.  Second, just because something is currently unexplainable does not make it a miracle.  Most of the miracles attributed to Jesus would be mid-level magicians tricks in a Vegas show nowadays.  But most compelling for me is that calling something a miracle often ignores the base reality of how odds work.  Say an event is 1 in a million.  Well, it's rare yes, but it will happen once in a million times.  That's not a miracle.  That's expected.

4) What about the Bible?

A very interesting book, but so full of inconsistencies and clear lineage differences in authorship that it reads like something either written by man, or a dyslexic, schizophrenic God who has gone off his meds.  There are many outstanding ruminations about the workings of the bible, but this article about the King James Bible is a favorite of mine.

5) Will you concede that religion is a force for good in a troubling world?

Crusades, suicide bombings, genocide, restriction of liberty, hate speak, judgment, slavery, gender discrimination, rape, child abuse - these are not just some of the things that have happened in the name of religion, but things that have been explicitly allowed or championed by religion.  So no, I would not call religion a force for good.  This is not to say that good-hearted people in a religious context do not do good things.  They surely do.  But they would do the same outside of a religious context as well.  Not because their religion tells them to, but because they are good people.


So there you have it.  I'm an atheist.  I'm not proud, or not proud of it.  I just am.  There are some who will certainly fear that I am going to hell, or will want to tell me to.  I'd say don't worry so much about it.  If your God has a plan then surely my lack of belief must be a part of it.

I Make Arguments For The Right, Because They Don't Seem Able To

I'm so frustrated watching the Republican National Convention it makes my head hurt.  The purposeful disregard for reason and truth they are slinging is so deep that it's preventing them from even being able to make arguments for their views that make sense.  It really seems like they can't be bothered to build the case for their own side, much less launch a cogent counter-argument to the policy ideas of their opponent.

So I'll do it for them.  Understand that what follows does not represent my views, but is simply an exercise in showing that reason can be applied to support the current Republican platform.  They just aren't doing it.


ABORTION - If you believe that life begins at conception then abortion is murder, plain and simple.  That means that even having exceptions in the case of rape, incest, or danger to the life of the mother should be unacceptable.  You do not make a horrific crime better by committing another crime.  The circumstances of conception matter a great deal, but they cannot be an excuse for murder.

DEATH PENALTY - There's no conflict between being pro-life and pro-capital punishment.  An unborn child is innocent.  But once a person has had the chance to make choices about the path of their life, they are responsible for the consequences of those actions.  Some actions are such an extreme departure from the demands of civilization that society cannot risk the perpetrator ever being released.

TAXES - We need to learn to spend within our means, so that we don't feel the need to put an undue responsibility of financial citizenship on the wealthy.  There is no reason to have different tax responsibilities based on income.  A fair, across the board tax rate, with certain breaks given to the lowest earners is the fairest, most sensible approach.  We need to stop being the teenager who asks dad for more money because we already spent our allowance.

SPENDING - We need to put our collective wallet back in our pocket.  Entitlement programs are a mistake.  Not because they lack honorable goals, but because the Federal Gov't is too big and unwieldy to effectively deal with the specific issues of local communities.  Money should be left in those communities, through tax breaks, to allow those on the ground, the ones who know best, to determine what is most efficient for their locale.

DEFENSE SPENDING - In a perfect world we would not need to spend a penny on defense.  But we don't live in a perfect world.  Defense spending has gotten out of control, and we need to take a hard look at what we're getting for the money we spend from defense contractors.  But we cannot cut current spending without a specific plan that protects all the current and former members of our armed forces.  Disrespecting their sacrifices for our country is too great a cost to pay, no matter the financial benefit.

EDUCATION - Teachers should be as responsible for their effectiveness as any other professional.  A base achievement measure is unworkable because different populations of students have different ability levels coming in to each grade, but expecting to see a set percentage improvement in student ability from the beginning to the end of the school year is not only reasonable, but necessary.  And the ultimate goal should always be to direct all students to a standard level of excellence.

GAY MARRIAGE - Marriage is a cornerstone of the strength of our society.  It creates stability, support, and a sense of responsibility to the community and the country at large.  It is already at its weakest point ever, with divorce rates reaching 50%.  Trying to redefine it at its most challenging time threatens to weaken it even further, which in turn weakens the Nation.

ABSTINENCE PROGRAMS - We need to stop acting like it is ok for children to have sex.  Of course we will be there to support them through the consequences if they make that mistake, but it is absolutely not acceptable for children to get the message that they do not have the ability to control their sexual urges.  It is our responsibility to teach them that sense of self-respect and discipline.

GAYS/WOMEN IN THE MILITARY - The reality of close infantry training is that it is not like normal society.  If there is a person you are uncomfortable with for whatever reason in everyday life, you can avoid them, get used to them, what have you.  But close infantry training requires a certain homogeneity because anything that serves as a distraction from the mission and the training is a danger both to the soldiers involved and the country.

RELIGION IN POLITICS - Thomas Jefferson's separation of church and state idea was to prevent the establishment of a state sponsored religion.  All in this country are free to worship, or not worship as they wish.  But the idea that somehow a politician cannot be guided by their religious morals is both an overreach on Jefferson's intent, and a foolish goal.  Being guided by one's deeply held religious beliefs is not only unavoidable, it is absolutely necessary.

IMMIGRATION - There is no doubt that many illegal immigrants are decent, hard-working people at heart.  But being an overall good person does not excuse committing a crime.  We can understand it, but cannot support it.  Illegal immigration is not OK, and giving a pass to those who came into our country illegally sends the message that the crime doesn't really matter.  That's a dangerous message to send in an era when border security and immigration controls are hugely important to the safety of our nation.


So to clarify once again, these are not my views, but I'd rather make arguments for the Republicans than listen to them continue to lie and distort for no better apparent reason than it's easy to do.  I don't see myself revisiting this, but if you have any Republican positions that you'd like to see what my take would be if I was a speechwriter or policy maker for them, let me know.  Maybe I'll put a sequel together.

Thoughts on DOWNLOADING NANCY

I recently caught up with the highly disturbing film DOWNLOADING NANCY, and would love to say that it is a must watch, but for most it would be far too unpleasant a tale to gain anything from it. After all a story of a suburban housewife so deadened to the world that she wants a man she finds online to kill her isn't exactly inspiring fare. Especially as it's clear that she was damaged by years of sexual abuse that have left her barren. Perfect rearing for the non-physical abuse of her humorless, passionless marriage.

Yes, it's a dreary as it sounds, but it is oddly compelling too. Nancy has become a creature that only responds to extreme pain, and her mind wants to take things to their logical conclusion by soliciting her own murder. Of course, that isn't logical at all, which brings me to what the movie does better than any film I've seen. It exposes the difficulty inherent in dealing with a loved one who is depressed, maybe even suicidal.

In the movie it is clear that Nancy has not always been at the point of no return. There are moments of playfulness that she tries to create and explore, but years of having that instinct stamped down leads her to feel that she is worthless. Every positive instinct she has is perverted into a negative judgement by someone close to her. So she's been trained to consider herself worthless. Her therapist tries to get through to her, but a logical approach is hopeless in the case of someone this emotionally damaged. It's nice to believe that giving a much needed ear to someone who is hurting can save them from their darker thoughts, and I'm sure in many cases that helps. But it's important to realize that if someone has decided that suicide is the path that makes the most sense for them, almost always an illogical choice, you cannot use logic to dissuade them from it.

Nancy is loved, and has value in the film, she simply lacks the ability to recognize it. She thinks her only way out is death, and has worked herself into a psychological state that does not allow her to consider other options. If you know someone walking down this path, get them help. Get them aggressive help. Fuck social niceties. Those in this mindset are not psychologically competent to take care of themselves, and it's a disservice to them to act as though they are.

Again, big difference between talk of suicide and actual movement towards, but neither one is something you can afford to sweep under the rug.

What the movie really comes down to, though, is Nancy's lack of self-worth. It's clear that at many moments she could have been given support and her better instincts might not have become inexorably buried. So riffing off that, I would encourage everyone out there, become a fan of people.

Your loved ones, your friends, strangers on the street, they all have something important to them, close to their heart that they put themselves into. Support them. Ask them about it. When it's finished, eat it, or read it, or play with it, or marvel at it. Want to see the wold be a better, happier place? Learn to cheerlead. Be unabashedly enthusiastic about something for someone. Surprise them. Lift them up.

Sure it's best to find your happiness from within, with no need for the approval or adoration of others. But most of us aren't quite at that spiritual level. Most of us toil along wondering if the time we spend on our dream is wasted, if at the end of it all we're good enough. You can help keep a dream going for years with the simple act of appreciation.

So while DOWNLOADING NANCY is a rough ride, I found it to be rife with important lessons. Especially about how seriously wrong many of our instincts may be about helping a person who is truly suicidal.

But most importantly it reminded me of how important it is to simply

BE A FAN.