Friday, March 4, 2011

Public Debate and Anal Sex (aka How To Deal with an Asshole)

Alright, first things first, you may not like the content of this particular blog post for so many reasons that to continue on from here is strictly at your own risk.

'Cause we're gonna talk about anal sex, and political debate, and how learning to deal with one can help you learn to deal with the other. Sound too icky? Then for goodness sake stop reading. Seriously.

Right now.

OK, you're still here? Let's get to it.

Despite what the news media and porn would have you believe, it's not just freaks and apoplectic weirdos who engage in these activities. Lots of people try both, and many find the experience unpleasant because of a simple lack of know-how. Of course some are a natural at it, and others will simply never even consider it. That's all part of the broad beauty of humanity. But if you've been curious about either, let's look at some of the realities involved.

In both public debate and anal sex, you are going to have to spend the majority of your time dealing with assholes. That's just the way of it. Many people choose not to participate in either activity because they are so put off by assholes that they simply cannot deal with them. So they say things like, "I'm not political," or "I'm not interested in any pee pee/pooper action."

That's fine, but it's often fear of the unknown, or disinterest in facing a notable challenge that leads to these attitudes rather than a patent inability to enjoy either if suitably prepped.

And preparation is truly the key in both cases. You gotta look at both sides of the issue and see what does and doesn't belong in the discussion, clean out the pipes of misinformation if you will. You gotta lube things up to make sure the info you have flows smoothly and works they way you intend. And it's very important to make sure that what you're bringing to the party is a good fit for the discussion at hand.

Failure to do any of these things will lead to a painful, shitty experience that will likely end with both people involved swearing off the whole damn concept.

There are certainly assholes you simply cannot deal with no matter how hard you try. If someone is truly unwilling to do their due diligence in the matter, if they will not engage in intelligent prep work and only come to the party with their unclean, shitty assholeness in tow, then you cannot engage with them reasonably.

At first you are going to view the person you're engaged with as an opponent, as nothing other than an asshole. Barely human and hard to differentiate. But there are many different types of assholes. And a good clean asshole, while perhaps presenting a view that is different or uncomfortable from what you are used to, may just give you an opportunity to see things from a different perspective. Find some new wrinkles that you hadn't thought of and bring them to a positive light. Hell, you might even come to a point where you don't see an asshole at all anymore, just a unique and engaging experience.

On the other hand, a dirty asshole, someone coming at you with lies and filth, possessing nothing but undigestable kernels of misinformation mixed in with their outright bullshit; they would much rather disgust you than discuss with you because they are too lazy to engage in the activity at hand in a reasonable and adult way.

These dirty assholes are the people who argue for Creationism, and that Obama wasn't born in the U.S. Completely irrational viewpoints that gleefully reject facts, common sense and critical thinking. To paraphrase Bill Maher - childbirth vs. delivery by stork is not a debate.

On the other hand, the immigration debate, health care debate, and even the question of whether or not it matters if the PUSA is a Muslim, are all good, legitimate, clean opportunities for discussion. I may disagree whole heartedly with your take on these issues, but a nice rowdy exchange of viewpoints is good for all of us, may even teach us all something about ourselves, and provides an experience that can grow us as a person. Plus it's an intellectual safety area that provides us a non-committed play opportunity before moving on to the real deal traditional sex of policy development, and the violent childbirth of law making.

Ultimately your partner has to have the same respect for the activity that you're about to engage in as you do or it simply cannot happen. There will be screaming and accusations and a lot of bad feelings afterwards. And you have to be able to listen if you want to be successful.

So consider this a primer if you've found yourself scared to participate. Get you some facts, research, lube and easily washable sheets. Have a rousing bout of backdoor action and rowdy public debate. Anyone, with proper preparation and motivation can do it.

All night long!

1 comment:

  1. Matt, this is great! Wow....its amazing how your mind works!!!! This is fantastic....I loved it! Steve H.